When I Fall
by Cannibals Welcome
Summary: AFTERSEASON2. Ciel hates being a demon. Can't stand it. Won't even eat a soul. Then Elizabeth's greatgrandaughter shows up, Sebastian is ordered to sleep with Grell as a punishment (WTF?), and... well, you get the point. I don't own Kuroshitsuji, or the show would look somewhat like this ff. SebbyxCiel, don't like yaoi, don't read please. M for violence, language, possible hmm.
1. Why not?

**AN: Ok, sorry, originally... there was an issue and it only uploaded about half of this... and I didn't realize it... *feels seriously embarrassed because fanfic made no sense* I don't own anything...**

It was _boring _to be immortal. Immensely, intensely, unbelievably...

Boring.

Over the years you found ways to make the pain go away, briefly. To lose sight of their deaths Ciel would pay any cost. He was much too proud to kill himself, and the survivor's instinct was ground to deeply within his bones. But sometimes he wondered if he hadn't been, if he could die who would care? Certainly not Sebastian. To Sebastian he was just a reminder of the debilitating hunger. Worse than thirst, worse than cold, worse than _death itself. _

Ciel would know, after all.

"Sebastian?" he called, his voice echoing slightly around the mostly empty penthouse. It took the man a minute to appear – he had probably been far away elsewhere, torturing someone to make them agree to give up their soul, no conditions attached. No one really believed, not anymore. It was the 21st century. Angels and demons – how could they exist when there wasn't a God?

Sebastian bowed his head, knowing full well that Ciel didn't like the sight of him full on and that now he was a demon he could make that displeasure... _known _far more clearly than before. He believed that he reminded Ciel of his time as a human, of all he had lost. It pissed Ciel off that he hadn't been able to die after getting his revenge. It did, even if he wouldn't admit it. He could have found a way to search for the murders of his parents on his own – not that he would have been successful mind you – but he chose to find the one way that assured he would both get his revenge, die and literally be damned in the process. It was his way to claim the 'part' he subconsciously assumed that he had played in this horror. Even if Ciel didn't realize it, he was deeply masochistic at heart in the textbook psychological ways.

"Yes, Mr. Phantomhive." It was stupid to have a twenty something year old man calling a young teen boy 'young master' or 'my lord' in this age of equals. It would simply make them stand out even more than they already did.

"Fetch me some tea." Ciel paused for a moment, as if considering some deep moral problem. Which, in a way, he was. "Make it edible."

"Of course. Just a moment." Sebastian turned to slink his way out to the kitchen, silently cursing Ciel in his head for interrupting him. He had been almost finished, so close...

Not that the taste would have been bearable. No soul would ever be enough. Not after Ciel.

To make the tea 'edible' – that is, to keep Ciel from immediately spewing it out of his mouth, or if he managed to swallow it, barfing it up – Sebastian had to mix fairly fresh human blood in. The more blood, the better it tasted to Ciel, or Sebastian if he chose to indulge in a cup. Sebastian's running theory for this was that human's souls were crammed into every orifice of their body – such a large concept for such a small flesh. Since their bodies consisted mostly of blood and it was what circulated throughout their _entire_ body, it contained the highest 'soul' content of a human's flesh – except the heart, of course.

Ciel's ethics, if he wasn't immortal, would've killed him. He refused to _eat_. To take a soul, even those willingly offered. And there were those, for one so beautiful.

Sebastian finished making the tea, and pulled the vial of fresh blood from the inside of his suit coat. He was just about to pour it into the perfect cup of incredibly hot liquid when he sensed the danger.

How do you describe something that Sebastian himself still didn't understand? There were no words for it, in the many languages he'd learned over his innumerable years. Ciel began to fall in the other room, and he could feel it before he even began to slip off the recliner, giving Sebastian ample time to not only finish the tea but place it gracefully on the floor before catching his master ever so carefully.

It was hard for a demon to pass out, especially one as young as Ciel. But it had been a long time since he had something that would give him even a little bit of nourishment, such as the blood in his tea. He 'abhorred' the taste of blood. At least that's what Ciel said.

To be honest, he just loved it too much to trust himself not to want more than something that simple.

"My lord, you are an _idiot_." Sebastian said, smoothing the dry strands of hair back from Ciel's face. It was beginning to fall out, littering the apartment with long black hairs. It had been too long since he'd submitted to a hair cut. A decade, at the least. That wasn't the reason why it was falling out, of course. The reason it was falling out was because Ciel was a prude.

"I heard that, you bastard." Ciel muttered, and his eyelids fluttered but he couldn't seem to force them open. "The... the tea..."

"Of course, my lord." Sebastian carefully let a few drops slide between Ciel's lips.

The change was instantaneous.

Ciel's eyes snapped open, turning from their color of dried blood to a red so bright it might have been on a plastic wrapper. He grabbed the stone mug that Sebastian had thoughtfully provided instead of a teacup and drank with the thirst a starving man might gulp thin chicken soup to fill the holes in his stomach. He didn't notice the cracks in the gray rock from where his fingers clenched too tightly until the cup was empty and he'd gained a bit of self control back, enough not to lick his clothes where some of the drink had spilled on him.

"I've told you not to call me 'my lord' anymore, Sebastian." Ciel said thoughtfully.

_Shit_. Sebastian thought. Actually, he thought a far more colorful word in a language far darker and far less easy too translate than American English. He'd thought that Ciel would have been so far gone with his hunger and sickness that he wouldn't have noticed he'd slipped.

"And you broke an order. Twice."

_Well, technically you never _ordered_ me to do it, you little bitch, or we wouldn't be having this conversation. _Sebastian thought at Ciel with hate he'd thought he'd reserved for men long dead. But he just continued to stare stoically at his master.

"So, I get two free questions."

"Excuse me?" Sebastian said. What the hell was going through his demented little mind now? Ciel had cracked long ago, but this was a new level of oddness.

Ciel sighed as if it was obvious, and flashed to the fridge and back so quickly it was like he was hardly gone, brownies with 'chocolate' frosting in his hands when he returned. The sweet tooth hadn't changed, over the couple hundred years. "Because you disobeyed me, I get to ask you two questions and you have to answer them to the best of your ability. Honestly."

Sebastian resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Mr. Phantomhive, you do know that you could just order me to do this and I'd do it anyways."

Ciel laughed. Giggled, really.

Sebastian's eyes widened slightly in understanding. High. He was high from the blood.

He hadn't had any form of human life in so long that probably just standing near a human would make him dizzy. Actually drinking some blood made him almost giddy. Well, giddy for how Ciel had been lately.

"But would that be as much _fun_? Come on, pull out something to sit on and we can have a conversation. Like we used to." Ciel's eyes went slightly purple for a moment, as if light blue contacts slid over them with no warning, but it was there and gone so quickly Sebastian couldn't say for sure. And then Ciel bit into another one of the brownies and the moment was gone. "Go on. Or do I have to start ordering you to do even this?"

Sebastian bowed automatically. "Of course, my – Mr. Phantomhive. I was just... taken aback by your change in demeanor."

Ciel laughed lightly again. "That is one way to put it."

This was terrifying.

Sebastian was back with his bed in the living room in under ten seconds (the only other item in the house he could sit on comfortably). He positioned it a careful distance from Ciel. At the very worst, Ciel would attack him again. At the very best – well, there hadn't been very many 'very best's lately. And all of those kind of sucked too.

"How long am I going to stay thirteen?" Ciel pouted drastically. Yet sincerely.

Sebastian blinked, distracted for a minute by the combination of the severe position of Ciel's lips and the color the blood had added to them. "You aren't thirteen."

"Physically, dipshit." His expression went from mocking to serious in an instant.

"You _aren't _thirteen." Sebastian insisted.

"Well then, what the hell am I?" Ciel insisted back.

"You're probably fourteen, almost fifteen physically. Around there. You don't stop aging until you hit your peak. You probably haven't noticed the changes because they've been so gradual."

Sebastian studied Ciel for a moment. Peak. He couldn't imagine how much more... _peaked _this kid could get.

"Peak? How so?" Ciel looked slightly pissed off that this question didn't have the answer he'd expected.

"When you reach your most... _attractive_ point." Sebastian paused, trying to find the right way to phrase it without sending Ciel back into his former catatonic state. Try giving him a bath when he'd barely breathe. "It's a sort of self defense system. When people see how pretty you are, they don't want to destroy you – they want to protect you. Beauty gets you many things. Seeing as you were very-"

Sebastian stopped cold.

Whoops.

"Seeing as I was very what?" Ciel said, innocently licking the chocolate and blood frosting off his fingertips.

Sebastian took a deep breath. _Idiot._ The souls inside scolded him. _Motherfucker, such a beautiful guy and you won't even – _a particularly loud one started before he began to speak, overwhelming their voices with his own. "Seeing as you were very weak earlier, I should probably make you some more food."

"But I feel _fine_ now." Ciel whined. "And you still haven't answered my next question."

Sebastian huffed. _Oh, very subtle._ the same soul commented. "And that would be?"

Ciel smirked. "_If_ I were to ask you about..." his smirk dimmed a little, but returned with doubled the forced strength. "If I were to ask you about that night when Elizabeth died, what would you say about it?"

Sebastian stopped breathing. It wasn't a big deal, until his lungs screamed for air and he was forced to inhale again. "I would beg you not to ask me of it."

Ciel's face went black. "And what does that mean?"

Sebastian's eyes were glued to the same strip of hardwood flooring, tracing the impurities in the grain over and over again. "Please."

"What?" Ciel said. 'Please'? He must have misheard. Hundreds of years, and he had never heard a sincere please from Sebastian. One that wasn't a taunt or a social necessity.

"_Please_ do not make me speak of that night with you, Ciel." Sebastian looked up, very suddenly, into Ciel's eyes, on the verge of begging.

"Why not?"

Why did people always ask you that? Did they not realize that to tell you why not they would have to tell you why first?

Sebastian stayed silent.

"_Why not?"_

Sebastian stood abruptly, heading for the kitchen stiffly at an almost human pace. "I will prepare your dinner, my – Mr. Phantomhive."

"Fuck you!" Ciel screamed.

In the right context...

"I order you to tell me what the hell you think about that evening Elizabeth died, exactly what you think, down to the last detail, and for you to tell me _now_, in such a way as I can hear it."

In the right context, that 'fuck you' could have meant something entirely different.

In fact, it had.

The night Elizabeth died.


	2. IT'S MINE?

Ciel's face was priceless.

It really was.

"_What?_"

"You heard me." Sebastian replied snarkily. Snarkily? Where had he even learned that word?

_From me._ A soul inside him whispered. The severely irritating one.

_Who are you? _Sebastian thought at it seriously. The force of personality was like a tidal wave. How could he have been so stupid as to have eaten it?

"Are you even paying attention to me?" Ciel yelled, and Sebastian snapped abruptly back to the real world with the sting of Ciel's hand on his cheek.

"I told you what I thought. If you do not wish to accept it -"

"I do not. Tell me something else."

_Dear God, he's a special one._

"Is that an order?" Sebastian's eyes glittered with sudden fury, the first time he'd allowed himself to show real emotion to Ciel in... in over a century. "Because unless that is an order, I will not. I will not lie to you, my Lord. I do not regret her death. I was happy she died. She was a nuisance. Irritating. She never matured."

"I loved her!"

"She did not love you." Sebastian continued ruthlessly, mercilessly. "She tried to contract with me. If she truly loved you she would have never done something that would break your heart."

"She what?" Ciel's face turned the color of snow.

Sebastian laughed. _Laughed. _"I did not do it, my Lord, have no fear. She wanted to become a demon. Such a thing would have resulted in a massacre like no other for such an undisciplined soul."

Ciel slapped him. Again. Sebastian resisted the urge to sigh.

_Yeah, he's a real keeper, this one._

_Oh, shut the fuck up, would you? I ate you, so what?_

"Why did you not do it? Truly? You have no respect for human life." Ciel scrutinized the face far above his own. "You could have consulted me on the matter."

_Living with someone for two hundred some-odd years you get to know them, don't you?_

Enough _with the witty comments until I know who you are, please._

"To create a demon you must kill a demon. There must be a balance to all things."

"I wouldn't have ordered you to die." Ciel said levelly.

"I know." Sebastian said, voice just as even.

Ciel frowned, suddenly confused.

_God, he's thick._

"Who the hell are you?" Sebastian yelled abruptly.

The voice inside his head cackled hysterically. _What, can't remember all the people you've eaten over the centuries?... I'm _you.

**AN: Sorry it's so short. I hope all the drama makes up for it... :-) As you may already have noticed, everybody is sort of out of character, and it's alternate universe as well. More like way in the future alternate universe, but still. **

**Thank you to all the people who reviewed and alerted ~ you are my favorites ~~**


	3. Until Death Do We Part

**An: Frankly, life's been hell. I don't know if that's an acceptable excuse. But it's all I got and it's oddly fitting. I tried – once again – to replace the first chapter with the _actual, full _first chapter – but since this site apparently has a vendetta out against my very being I don't know how successful I shall be. Wish me luck. Please review, but I'm not forcing anyone * I say as I loom over your keyboards *.**

"Excuse me?" Ciel said blankly.

Sebastian absentmindedly waved him off, using his super demon powers to go to the kitchen and block the doorway with the mattress, the refridgerator, and the better part of the contents of the cabinets in a matter of seconds.

"What the hell do you mean you're me?" Sebastian hissed furiously into the rapidly darkening (the sun was setting as he spoke, isn't that fitting?) interior of the kitchen.

_I mean, I'm your soul. I had to go _somewhere _didn't I. And it's not like heaven would take me after... well, you know I'm sure. Or have you forgotten that as well._

"No." Sebastian said, steadfastly ignoring Ciel's louder and louder shouts and the growing urge to obey his commands. "No number of human or demonic lifetimes could make me forget the things I did when I was truly alive."

Thankfully for Sebastian, Ciel was too busy screaming orders to catch that.

_You should really tell him about this._

"Why – why -?" He couldn't find enough words, enough expletives to express it.

_Ooh, that one struck a nerve. It's because you _know _already isn't it. You know what this could mean for us. For him. For every single fucking demon ever created. _

"I don't want to know." Sebastian said very quietly. So quietly that if Ciel _had _been trying to listen, rather than shrieking for his man-slave 'to get his motherfucking ass' out into the living room, he wouldn't have heard. "And I won't know. I will never know for sure. And I will never tell Ciel, because he is clever. But is not clever enough to know to order me something like this, if I purposely set out to sabotage every effort of investigation – for the both of us."

"Investigation of what?" Ciel said, having finally broken through the barrier. Sebastian, having busy arguing with himself, hadn't noticed. Remarkable, how stupidity somehow just abounds...

"Is that an order, Mr. Phantomhive?" Sebastian righteously _stalked _back into the living room.

"Well don't get _pissy_. You started it."

"How in Hell did I start... All of this?" Sebastian waved his thin elegant hands around frantically.

Ciel opened his mouth. Shut it. Held up a finger in that 'don't bother me, I'm making up a reaonable sounding argument that is actually complete shit' manner. Finally, he looked up happily. "You barricaded the kitchen door."

"How does that-" Sebastian began, his face full of two hundred plus years of exasperation.

"What were you doing in there anyways?" Ciel asked, throwing himself back on the EZ boy as if no disagreement had ever taken place. Ah, the wonders of plotting revenge. "Jacking off?"

Spluttering.

Much spluttering coming from the mouth of the butler.

Finally, he came up with what he thought was a fairly comprehensive question, "Where did you learn that kind of language, young man?"

"Late night TV."

And so it went.

For hours.

And HOURS.

Hours that turned into days. That turned into weeks. See, disagreements and trivial nonsense and petty little banter can go on for unmeasurable periods of time nonstop when you have, quite literally, all the time in the world and just need to break every once in a while to grab a bite to eat. Demons don't _have _to sleep. Some enjoy it, some hate it, some just use it as a way to pass the time between contracts. The reason it brings out such extreme emotions is because of it's quite different nature from a human's sleep. Quite basically, they dream of the last moments of the souls inside of them. Their screams, their fear, and then the utter agony. It's not as if a demon sees the memory from _their _perspective in a 'dream', of course not that would be far to pleasant for the damned. It's from the suffering soul inside of them who just can't get over the fact that they were stupid enough to get killed.

From a evolutionary standpoint, it does serve a purpose to the mental development of a young demon, desensitizing their mind to the pain, horror, grief and relatively negative emotions that humans can have. It helps a demon to see from a human's point of that they are monsters and always will be monsters. So there is no reason to be ethical when no one's about to thank you for it. The people inside see you as irredeemable. And as a demon is influenced by the souls that they eat, they will find themselves irredeemable as well.

Ciel and Sebastian's fight finally ended. But not the way we all hoped it could have ended, in sex or laughter or tears or even a food fight. It ended in a discovery. A remarkable discovery on Ciel's part, as he seemed to have acquired ADHD, as many young demon's do when they are first created.

He discovered a memory. Or the lack of one to be more specific. The lack of a memory of Sebastian telling him why the aforesaid demon butler didn't kill the aforesaid demon butler's master's girlfriend/fiancee.

This is a record of that fairly remarkable event.

"Sebaaastian." Ciel called, flipping through the stations as fast as the remote would let him. Boring. Boring. Interesting - … and boring.

Sebastian appeared immediately. "_What?_"

"I don't quite appreciate that tone, 'young man'." Ciel smirked. He'd pissed Sebby off this morning the most yet – by calling him Sebby, in his ear, to wake him up.

With an ingratiating and fittingly grating lilt to his voice, Sebastian restated his question with the necessary bubkiss.

"Better. Marginally. I was just thinking about the day that we started fighting and I realized that you never really answered why you didn't turn Elizabeth."

_Yep. Definitely a thick one._

Sebastian sighed. "Would you like me to get the bed? This could take a while."

"You can stand indefinitely. I've seen it. Now talk."

_Yeah, he's seen it all right._

Sighing once again to make his displeasure even MORE clear, Sebastian sat down. On the floor.

The look of shock was brilliant. Almost enough to make what he was about to say worth it.

"I – if I had told you that Ms. Elizabeth wished to become a demon, then you would not have killed me, correct."

"That is not a question, Sebastian, you know what you mean to me."

_Err... he should rephrase that, because you have no fucking -_

Sebastian simply sighed. Again. "And a demon would still have to die. Ciel, you are a demon."

"Oh." Ciel said softly.

As the logic functions that Ciel had slowly let rust away in his brain reformed, things became clearer. That is to say, more confusing.

"But you could have been free. Over two hundred years ago from this very moment you could have been free and -"

"And you would have been dead!" Sebastian shouted abruptly. "May I leave now? We are running low on blood."

"No. You may not leave, you may explain. Why? Why, Sebastian?"

"Isn't it obvious? Order me to say it if you must, but... I've always -"

Thump.

For some reason, Sebastian never got to finish that sentence.

For some reason, the man who was Sebastian Michaelis died that day.


	4. Surprise, Surprise

What the fair Sebastian was _about_ to say truly has no consequence on any demon as of yet, particularly not the 'young' black haired and balding one reclining in his EZ boy throne before our most favorite butler.

See, who it _does_ have a consequence on is the 20 some odd year old woman who had kicked in the door of their apartment and almost simultaneously let fire with... a paintball gun?

The paint ball struck Sebastian square in his right eye, the eye nearest to Ciel, and the next paintball in his left eye. The paint wasn't just paint, it was mixed with a series of chemicals so much worse than pepper spray, specifically designed to melt through steel in a matter of milliseconds. Do not ask where this woman got this series of chemicals, or how she crafted it into her own paintballs without it destroying the paintball gun. Because this is sometime in the near (demonically speaking) yet far (humanly speaking) future, it would be very difficult for _me _to find that information, don't you think?

But to return to the present moment.

With his eyeballs melting, desperately trying to reform, then melting again repeatedly, you could not call Sebastian a weenie for whimpering like an injured Alois for approximately 1.5 seconds. In that long second and a half, the woman had already learned to ignore Ciel, who was sitting on his ass entirely immobile looking at his invincible best friend/butler/punching bag while he submitted to the pain. However, that woman had not ignored Ciel to the point that she didn't cover him in the Evil Paintballs of Ultimate Agony (they were brand name), just to keep him out of the way. Mostly she covered his throat with them so he wouldn't be capable of screaming, ignoring his eyes completely.

As Sebastian rose, she dropped the paint gun, obviously having thought she'd have more time as she grasped desperately for the – the _demon sword_?! Ciel's sane thoughts screamed while the rest just screamed_ –_ on her back. Sebastian, having quite the blurry vision, just noticed a strangely familiar, unusually long blob in the blob person's hand as he slammed her into the floor ever so carefully. Carefully, because he didn't want to break through to another floor. Carefully, because whatever that long blob was, it probably wasn't something he wanted touching him. Carefully, because if he broke its spine it wouldn't be as much fun to play with later, before he tore the soul from its begging lips.

He held the blob person down until his vision cleared. It felt, _felt_ like a very long time. Unbearable lifetimes. But it was probably merely thirty seconds. When he could see the... feet?... of what he was holding down, he felt rather silly. Still raging, but silly.

He flipped around to pin the person so he could see their face while he began his interrogation, fast, so fast that no human could have moved during that time span.

But this human did.

Not very much, admittedly. She only made it a few inches towards the – the FUCKING DEMON SWORD! (once again, rough translation here, buddies) Sebastian's thoughts screamed in shock – before he caught her and flipped her back under his control. She didn't bother to fight, conserving her energy like a smart person until the right moment.

Lizzie stared up into Sebastian's eyes and said, "My great-grandmother says hello... To Ciel, that is. She says something quite different to -"

"Say the name, little girl, and I will let you die by the power of my true name right here."

"Oh no." she chuckled. Not hysterically, calmly, with the knowledge of someone perfectly safe... and in completely in command of the situation. "You never could keep this secret from him. Try. The sight of my face alone...Does he even know your true name anymore? The power it holds over you?"

She stuck her neck out farther, pushing her face closer to mine, which sounds utterly ridiculous but was slightly intimidating under the circumstances. "I said it. Before I came. Just as he knew it as he called, just as my great-grandmother somehow discovered it. Though my discovery of your name was... rather simple. Will you lo-" she cut that question short at the look on Sebastian's face, her voice parts malice and curiosity, with just the slightest trace of sympathy somewhere deep within. "Why do you think your soul bothers you so now? After so long, 'Sebastian' with your creator and secrets long dead?"

"Mr. Phantomhive." Sebastian ground out through my absolute and utter rage at her and her idiocy, her dabbling in secrets that she had no understanding in. "You can speak now. I can feel it. Please, let me introduce you to our guest... Ms. Lizzie's great-granddaughter, Liz Midford III."

**_AN: _**_Enough drama there that you'll forgive me for having only a little over a page in open office? Gonna go write more. You guys have been incredible about reviewing, even though I've barely updated (err... that's not an excuse to not update). I thought I'd clear things up with this chapter but I knew as soon as I began it that I'd make them more confusing then ever. The next one, I swear! Is anyone figuring out the mystery of Sebby's soul ~~? Why I brought in Ciel's greatest love? How she got the demon sword?_

_Err... actually, not sure why I brought in Ciel's greatest love so _you_ can tell me!_

_JK! (for all you know)_

_~Cannibals Welcome~_


	5. A Strange Sense of Satisfaction

"Get off her." said a voice. It was the least human sounding voice that Sebastian had heard in several thousand years, but then again Ciel _was _rebuilding his vocal cords and it had been a while since he'd seen Lucy. "_Get off her now._"

That tone entered Ciel's voice, the one that made Sebastian shiver in equal parts dread and anticipation. But he held his ground. Or, more appropriately, his floor. Liz's eyes smirked at him indifferently.

A rattling sigh left Ciel's chest, not the most healthy noise he had ever made, and Sebastian immediately glanced up in concern, then turned his head away so quickly he could almost pretend he had never seen what this... this _human _had done to his master's throat.

"Order." Ciel got out before he was trying to clutch his throat, but then attempting to scream because of the pain that deceivingly simple action had caused him.

Sebastian spat a very, _very _diluted amount of venom onto Liz's hand as he stood up, not willing to force Ciel to say the rest of his order, but very happy to give Liz the pain he could (even if it was only the invisible equivalent of a bad sunburn).

He couldn't look. It was impossible. He was incapable of doing it. The raw chunks of meat and scarlet and sheer gore hanging heavy with the scent of Ciel's trapped soul disgusted him to the point of nausea, horrified him to the point where he was certain he would have an impossible nightmare.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, knowing that only his Lord would be able to hear it, able to see his lips move that miniscule amount. In the old days he used to cuss him out. The old days equaling Ciel being human, of course.

"Oh, dear God, don't act like he's never done anything to deserve it." Liz stretched casually.

Sebastian resisted the urge to backhand her as a low, menacing growl filled the room. Now where the hell was _that_ coming from? He assessed the area warily before determining that it was coming from himself. He then made himself shut the hell up. "He's never taken human life." He added to the growl as politely as you can after snarling at someone.

"Oh, so I suppose _ you _kill them after he extracts the soul?" Liz said as she stood. She had a disturbing amount of knowledge on the occult – that is, a disturbingly _accurate _amount of knowledge on the occult. Like how the body could exist without a true soul for a short time.

"Let me rephrase that statement." Sebastian began before a tiny sort-of Earl cut him off.

After all, it had been a rather long time since Ciel had truly been an Earl. "Yes, let _me _rephrase that." Ciel said, his voice irritatingly thick, and not with tears. "I have never taken a soul. As long as I've been a demon I have never taken human life. I don't believe I've even swatted a mosquito in the last 50 years or so."

_Because you've been catatonic, _Sebastian's soul whispered violently at Ciel. Yes, **Sebastian's** soul. As in, his HUMAN, incorporeal, insufferably **him** SOUL. That talks to him in italics in his mind since Chapter One or so. We will get to that **later**. For now, suffice the narrator and your curiosity to say that in life, Sebastian was an unbearable narcissistic smart-ass. He had grown out of the smart-ass bit. The narcissism persisted. Most likely indefinitely.

"Mr. Phantomhive -"

"Please shut up." Ciel said, his voice tired and grower stronger and clearer every second. He paused to hack up the fluids and various other things blocking him from speaking as he would like. "Grab the mattress. I believe this will be a long conversation. Oh, and a door if you wouldn't mind."

_Don't growl, don't growl, don't growl. _His soul chanted, mimicking Sebastian's own mantra.

Sebastian pulled out the mattress for Liz to sit on, and when Ciel stood up to sit beside her his demon-sense went off, but he resisted the urge to drag 'Mr. Phantomhive' back onto his plush throne, because he couldn't stand to deal with the slapping that would ensue.

So, of course, by the time Sebastian was back with the infernal mattress (an immeasurably short period of time for this author) Liz had her hands wrapped firmly around the demon sword and was on the verge of chopping Ciel's head off. Sebastian could place this firmly in the 'super hero demon butler's fault' category, seeing as he hadn't bothered to HIDE the demon sword, but had merely left it thrown in a corner.

Sebastian was fairly certain he crushed Liz's hand when he took the sword away from her, reversing the direction without any concern for her safety. The demon sword couldn't harm mortals – why do you think it was called a demon sword?

And it didn't harm her. In fact, it left her looking rather refreshed after she got over the shock that she had just been sliced in fact, sort of. The sword had turned into what is most easily compared to a hologram the moment it entered her aura.

"Sebastian!" Ciel said sharply.

Sebastian spun on Ciel, knowing that his own voice would be sharp and not caring in that moment. The impulse to get a door – any door – was almost overwhelming. "Young master!" he nearly roared, gesticulating sharply with the demon sword.

"Um, the door..." Liz reminded him very, very quietly.

He would scream so loud from the countryside later that Ciel would be able to hear him. The villagers – no, peasants – no, sorry, _residents_ – of that area were convinced it was haunted. Considering that piece of countryside was several third world countries away, it would have to be an impressive scream.

On his way to rip the door off his bedroom and reattach it to the main entrance, Sebastian punched Liz in the side of the head hard enough to hopefully knock her out for a few hours but not kill her. It would knock a normal human out for a few hours. So for Liz, that would probably be a couple minutes.

Approximately 0.3 seconds later (he had been extra careful to keep the hinges undamaged, and besides, he needed a break) he was fixing the door. Before the second was through, he was finished with his orders and dropping Liz on the mattress so he could check her for weapons.

"With your permission, Mr. -"

"Michaelis." Ciel said, his voice low and tight and more furious than Sebastian had heard it in a long time. "Your behavior has been unacceptable towards our guest."

"In all fairness, she was about to kill you... sir."

"Would it _matter_?" Ciel said, half bitterly, half wistfully, glancing around as if he wondered where the demon blade _had _gone. As far from the apartment in as discreet a place as Sebastian could put it in his 0.3 seconds, of course. You didn't truly think he was taking a break, now did you?

"Yes sir, I believe it would matter. We had this discussion several months ago." Sebastian sighed, loudly enough to make it obvious (to a demon at least) but not enough to get ordered to never - what, exhale in such a gratuitous manner again?. "Before she wakes up, may I check her for weapons?"

Ciel swallowed, closed his eyes, swallowed on a dry mouth again. He hated the thought of Sebastian touching her, of touching Lizzie – no, Liz – but it couldn't be helped. He couldn't talk to her if all she did was try and kill him. He nodded, as if the motion itself would kill him.

"Very good, sir." Sebastian began his search by chaining her to the floor.

"I hardly think that is necessary."

Sebastian just gave Ciel a look, and in a record time response, Ciel put something on TV. He realized with an inward chuckle that it was the ever popular classic, Black Butler – a manga that Ciel had invented and somehow sold during their long years in Japan. The manga was his whimsical accomplishment. The anime was Sebastian's. He preferred realism (or as close as you can get in a cartoon).

The chains on the floor had come with the penthouse for God knows what reason, and if you combined that with the fact that it was the base of a billionaire serial killer it explained why the building was so cheap.

Sebastian had never given it much thought before.

Securing the manacles on Liz's wrists and ankles he felt a strange sense of satisfaction, to have her helpless, in much the same position that he might extract someone's soul. It was a beautiful thing. To think of killing her, ripping her to shreds in the most painful ways he could imagine - and oh the years he had spent imagining and planning and doing - she began to stir.

No good. He would have to cut the clothes off then, no time to search her and he couldn't very well risk permanent brain damage.

"Mr. Phantomhive, I suggest that you do not turn your eyes from the set for a while."

"I order you not to do any physical harm with her, nor form a contract of any type." Ciel answered, sounding bored as hell, but his eyes didn't flicker from the sight of his own animated body calling out Sebastian's name.*

"Of course." _Damn. Now you can't just... I don't know, shove splinters under her fingernails?_

Instead, before Liz got the chance to even open her eyes, he ripped every scrap of clothing off her body and threw it to the far corner of the room.

_**An:**_** First of all, the *corset scene, episode three or four first season. **

**Secondly, NO, it's not Lizzie's soul...**

**Third, Sebby's not a perv, he just needs to de-weapon-fy her. And he _did_ tell Ciel not to look. **

**Fourth: That's odd, I've had this for a few days and still haven't posted it...**

**I would like to apologize for my lapse into first person on the last paragraph of the last chapter... I fixed it but I feel terribly about it. It just reveals how deep my dislike of Elizabeth goes (no offense to her fans, of course. She's just so – frivolous.). I'm glad in my story she's forced to grow up a bit. **

**Ciel: Ugh, Sebastian, she's bragging about her own story again.**

**Sebastian: Why do you read that garbage?**

**Ciel: Shut up and make me food. **

**Sebastian: Only if it's an order.  
Ciel: OK THAT'S IT TO THE TORTURE CHAMBER.**

**Me:...**

**Sebastian: * secret happiness ***


	6. Has it ever occurred to you?

_An: I realized that this may have to be changed to mature... nothing is going to happen, of course, but there are some highly suggestive themes and for the weenies out there who like to report, well, * shrug *. I suppose I could never have avoided it in the end anyways... Obviously I don't own Kuroshitsuji, or things like this would happen._

Of course, at the flickering of fabric flying to the corner of the room, Ciel's head shot up and noticed the strange scene Liz coming about to find herself chained to the floor completely nude. His eyes quickly took in that and the somewhat more important sight of Sebastian's crouching form over Liz's body, the slightly amused face hidden by the back of Sebby's own head (Ciel was at a bad angle, you see).

But let's pause there, and go back in time. To what seems like such a short time ago to me, your loving narrator, but must seem like a forever ago to you. This short time ago is when Liz unexpectedly burst through the door of Ciel Phantomhive and Sebastian Michaelis' apartment. At this precise moment, a moment that could be so insignificant in the grand scheme of things - if not for what was happening exactly 3 kilometers east of aforesaid apartment, a grim reaper's flight was landing.

Why this airport must be so close to Ciel and Sebastian's apartment is a strange and slightly uncanny coincidence that, if the reader so wished, I could spend several paragraphs detailing. Alas, because of the time continuum laws and my homework load, we shall have to stick to the bare fact that the airport is very, very close to their apartment.

This airport is so close to our two main character's apartment, in fact, that the slightly depressed grim reaper departing his plane could smell a scent he had not in several hundred years. He had held that scent very close to his heart, in hopes of his nose detecting its beautiful essence wafting in the airwaves again – but no. Not once had he smelled it so strongly.

Until today.

At first he thought that it must be the crumbling envelope that he always held close to his heart in a considerably difficult to destroy ashen wood case he had taken from the Phantomhive manor itself. Being from the Phantomhive manor, it had been dusted and polished many times by Sebastian's own hands. It was also from the Earl Phantomhive's room, which meant it got special attention. As much as he hated that little bitch (get the pun, get the pun? It had only taken several hundred years of futile irritation after all...) Sebastian did like him for some reason and he had to respect that. More like, Sebastian liked the little bitch for some reason and he had to take advantage of that by stealing Ciel's things so that the aforesaid grim reaper would smell like the (also) aforesaid smoking hot demon.

"Grell, what the hell are you dawdling for?" Will said, adjusting his glasses in a hurry as he strode furiously toward the exit, completely ignoring all the security guards running after him.

"But Will ~" Grell half said, half whined, tugging on Will's sleeve. Will easily shrugged him off. Their flight had come in late, very late, and he didn't know if he could stand one more moment with this incompetent _fool_. He hardly ever enjoyed taking a person's soul for more than just a job well done, but being within Grell's proximity brought out the sadistic side in him. "Don't you smell them?"

Will paused briefly. That was a strange statement, even for the exceedingly strange person clinging to his arm and now practically humping his leg in public. He sniffed experimentally and recoiled immediately. "No, it couldn't be!"

Grell went into hysterics at his statement being verified by someone as skeptical as Will.

Now, let's fast forward in time again, to where Sebastian is looking up innocently at Ciel, preparing to be backhanded across the room and possibly through a few walls.

However, like with so many touching moments between the two, they were interrupted. But this time it wasn't by a descendant of one of their past acquaintances – no, it was by someone they knew far too well.

And so, ironically, Ciel did not have to backhand Sebastian through several walls – because Sebastian's most feared enemy, the worst 'nightmare' of his existence if you will, appeared to tackle him through several walls in excitement at having discovered him. As you may have guessed, this feared enemy was Grell.

This appearance of blurred red, as shocking and disconcerting as it was, took only moments for the young Earl to connect with early memories. As you may remember, his logic centers had begun working again. Not very well, mind you, or he would never have stomped through the Grell-and-Sebastian shaped holes in the walls and ordered what he did next.

"Michaelis." Ciel said, fuming, still too angry to address Sebastian by his first name. By the name he had given him.

"Yes, Mr. Phantomhive." Sebastian said, his voice muffled by Grell's cries of glee and – eew – arousal.

"You have made me very angry today. You have overstepped your bounds. I order you to -"

Understanding dawned on Sebastian's face. "Please, Ciel, please no. Anything but that, please!"

Ciel's face was bright red in fury. "Why?! You have _fucked _other _people_ in the past and it meant nothing to you. I don't see why adding one more to the list should bother you so much."

(Grell in the background: 'Hey, his tone just implied I wasn't a person...')

Sebastian shook his head in horror. "You don't understand, sir, he will -"

"Shut **up!**" Ciel screamed. "Has it ever occurred to you that I don't _care_? That I don't _want_ to understand?"

Sebastian's face went pale. "... sir, is this an order?"

Ciel's face went slightly softer, slightly colder at the fear that filled his best friend's face. His only friend's face. "Yes, yes it is. I order you to do whatever he wishes with you for one day and one day only when I say 'go' again."

Sebastian nodded, swallowed uneasily. "I love you, my lord." He had to force the blood back down that came from calling him 'my lord'. Stupid child. Stupider orders.

(Grell in background: 'Oh no he dih-didn't!' Prepares to pounce... until Sebastian flicks him in the eye extremely hard, rupturing his cornea.)

"And stop pretending! Stop making things into what they never were and never will be! That is a fucking order!" Ciel screeched. Meanwhile, Grell was drooling placidly in the corner making creeper faces.

Sebastian smiled sadly. "In that case, I still love you Ciel."

(Grell in background: Cornea healed, he prepares to pounce again... until Sebby groin stomps him! Go, Sebby! 3!)

"Shut the fuck up... and _go."_ Ciel said, pouring every ounce of cruelty and confusion he could into those words. He turned before he could see what Grell had in mind.

"Oh, my lord, you know not what you do..." Sebastian said as Grell's face grew closer and closer, as Grell's mouth grew wider and wider, teeth growing sharper and sharper and sharper.

And that, my friends, is how the man known as Sebastian Michaelis died.

_An: Good? Worth the wait? Someone say something! I do know what I'm doing with the Sebastian Michaelis 'dying' and it will be explained immediately next chapter, I swear. * pinky swears * By the way, no one take the Grell in the background stuff as really serious writing, it was just for comic relief. _

_**Ciel: **Dear God, I am that much of a brat?..._


	7. Where Everything Is Explained

_An: I was feeling sorry for myself about the views on my story and then I decided to thank all those who have alerts on my story in my next author's note and was overwhelmed by the sheer number... :') happy tears. I even saw some of my favorite writers in the list. (not saying who because that would be favoritism but all you writers can feel special) THANK YOU Readers! I'll put the names at the bottom. 0.o_

Wouldn't _you_ just like to know how Sebastian Michaelis died? Oh, well, I'll take pity on you this once.

When a grim reaper mates with another sentient being (don't think too hard about that) there is almost always the same very unfortunate side effect, unless the grim reaper has perfected control over at least a hundred years of relentless practice with the same partner (assuming that said partner hadn't died by then, or somehow escaped). Most partners (who hadn't died) would have been driven mad by then. Grell, of course, didn't have the dedication or the inclination to try such a ridiculous thing.

And he rather liked devouring his partner's memories as he fucked them senseless.

Yes, sadly, there is no other way to put it. As any grim reaper can tell you (not that they would) the reason that Grell is such a slut is that he never gets any. And he never gets any because anyone with a functioning sixth sense knows he'll rip out something vital and never give it back if they let him near their genitals.

Sebastian, once, when he was very young, had begged a death god (he was still very idealistic back then) to take his memories. They refused, saying that someday he would understand.

He understood now.

The pain was incredible, as Grell shifted through thousands of years. There was no way Grell would be able to eat everything in a day, and he consoled himself with that thought as bits and pieces of his soul disappeared.

His soul...

A demon's soul, ah, the most complicated dish in existence. Stained in sin. Covered in horror. Writhing in agony. All of it for eternity, all of it futile, except for the study of theologists who find it hilarious.

See, the thing about a demon's soul is that it is a human soul that it's continually being digested by its demonic side, which craves for human souls so badly that it can't help but eat everything in its path. That is why the hunger gets so unbearable for a demon – they are literally eating their own soul when they starve themselves. The soul can recover if the demonic side is fed, of course. Such is the nature of all souls. The only way to make the human part of a demon's soul stronger than the demonic part is to fall in love and that, of course, is positively ludicrous. To get close enough to someone to fall in love the demon would have to contract with them, and by the end they would be dead – because most demons contract for the soul. On the upside, once a human soul is digested, it is forever with the demon. The demon can replay their cinematic record like a personal film anytime they wish.

The nature of a demon's soul is no different than a human's soul. The darkness in it is only amplified. This darkness is passed on through countless generations of demons. The original demons, of course, were fallen angels. But there are very few of those around anymore – they passed their depressing fates onto humans once they realized how shitty it was on Earth compared to heaven even if you could have sex and whatnot. The original demons who are still around are very, very, _very _scary. And the author is too scared to bring them into her story. So buck off and enjoy this explanation of a demon's soul. Now back to the REAL story...

Sebastian jerked as Grell took the first memory from his cinematic record.

_That death god warned me this would happen... _he thought as he backslid, reliving.

"_Don't, please, please-" I scrambled back on all fours as the dark hand descended. It jerked him upwards. _

"_What do you think you are, a tiny demon?" The man's voice growled. Which was he? Did it matter? "You are no god. You are no human. You are not even one of our people."_

_I whimpered, too scared to remember if this was the time I was supposed to agree or stay silent. No matter what I did, he would hurt me._

_He threw me against the rock wall of my tiny, safe cave, the only one they would let me dwell in. I smashed into it so hard I knew that something broke. _

"_A god would have defended himself, worm!" He gloated, towering over me. He was one of the People! Why must he torment me as well? Was he not happy with what he had?_

_And then, before he could strike me again, his face was inches from where mine had fallen, glazed eyes meeting mine. _

"_But a God he shall become." The way this voice pronounced 'God' was different. This voice was different – like, like my mother's but so far from it that I could not compare them at all._

_I didn't move. It seemed like the smartest thing at the time._

"_Oh," A hand stroked my face, and I flinched away from it, terrified. They tried again, and I cautiously leaned into the touch. "Oh, young one, you will create nations. Tell me your wish and I will grant it, in trade for you to grant mine."_

"_Wish?" I whispered. I had never heard that word before, but it burrowed into my mind with her? - yes, it must be, like my mother – and told me its meaning. I stared up into eyes the color of my blood and said, "I wish to be like you, mother."_

_She smiled sadly and brought me into her lap. "Come now, surely you don't mean that, young one. You've only just met me. There must be something else you desire."_

_I shook my head, lips quivering slightly at how bold I was. I must state my wish carefully. "You will live forever, won't you, Mother?"_

_She sighed. She looked... I didn't know the words. "Yes, yes I will. Forever and ever and ever."_

"_I wish to be like you, able to grant others wishes in trade for a wish of my own forever and ever and ever." I smiled, proud for the first time in many years. Happy for the first time since my mother was stoned to death for giving birth to a demon and hiding it from the People._

_She looked afraid. I hugged her neck. "Don't be afraid, Mother! I'll change my wish if it scares you!"_

_She hugged me back, long and hard. "No, no." I felt sharp teeth as she smiled into my hair. "For all things there must be equal balance, for all things... even one such as me. I will grant your wish, little one. And in return, you will grant mine."_

_I looked up into the blood red eyes of my savior, at the only other white skin I had ever seen. "Yes, mother."_

Sebastian's eyes awoke to the present time with a sense of loss, Grell licking his fingers above him. "I always wondered how that happened..." Grell mused. "But to think, _you _the first white skinned human! That makes you ancient. Your conscience must have died long ago."

Sebastian glared up at him. "That is beyond rude."

"Hmm?" Grell said. "I'm already draining you dry, you don't have to act like there's etiquetteto it."

Grell's smile suddenly changed into something a bit more... predatory. "Now give me a kiss..."

He didn't just take one memory.

He took so many...

"_Good morning, today I am serving you -" the words flew out of Sebastian's mouth so fast that he could not even hear them. He opened curtains, dusted things, set tables, scolded servants, over and over and over..._

_It wasn't those memories he tried to hold onto._

_It was washing Ciel's hair slowly and luxuriously while he moaned, May Lin peak in through the key hole just to make sure she wasn't missing anything interesting. It was Ciel flicking bubbles in his eyes whenever he rubbed the washcloth too hard over his delicate skin. It was buttoning his shirt every morning perfectly, and the rare times when they encountered a disagreement and he would see the young master's hysterical attempt to button his own shirt. It was being the first to see him every morning, the first to see the exact same adorable expression on his face as he desperately avoided the sunlight. It was the first time he had felt Ciel's soul, such a stubborn thing crying out for help. The first time his own soul had connected with something since his Mother. _

_It was knowing, innately, that at the end of this contract he would not grant Ciel his wish – that he would be complete if he ate Ciel's soul, and that he was not ready to go out as his Mother did. That he could not leave this world until Ciel did._

And it was those memories that Grell took.

"Ciiii-well!" Grell said, his general gay happiness back and praying mantis self gone. "I'm done!"

Ciel looked at the clock on the TV guide. "Dude, it's only 3 o'clock. Are you _sure _you don't want him any longer?"

(Oblivious to what's really going on much, Ciel?)

Grell laughed in that special way he had and started babbling about memories or something and how he had already taken all the good ones. Ciel looked repelled. What, he had sent Sebastian away for punishment to _Grell _and they had just sat down and swapped stories!?

"Oh, fine, return him if you must!" Ciel said impatiently. He glanced at Lizzy, then away quickly. He had gotten all the weapons that he could find out of her clothing and spent the last four hours trying to talk to her rather unsuccessfully. Whenever he said something to her she'd just go 'Nananana! I can't hear you!'. Even _after _he unchained her she was mean to him. Eventually she asked for food, and he grabbed her something out of the fridge, but she spat it out and said it tasted like blood.

Eh.. well.. that is..

Grell was out of the apartment before Ciel could ask exactly what he _had_ been doing to Sebastian to leave him knocked out cold on the floor. Ciel shuddered. Not that he wanted to know, of course. "Sebastian, I order you to get up!" Ciel declared imperially.

Sebastian stood up veeeeery slowly. However, at closer inspection, he was still deeply unconscious.

Ciel stared at him. "This is... weird..."

Liz pushed past the two of them, knocking Sebastian to the ground with a clunk (he wasn't awake enough to have reflexes, which is saying somethin'). "Well, this has gotten even more boring, I'm hungry, and I'm going home. If he's not awake I can't ruin his life. Err, existence. Flitting out exit left now!"

"You can't just walk out on the Earl Phantom-"

Unfortunately, by the time Ciel managed to get that much outrage and spluttering into the open air, she already had.

"-hive..." Ciel trailed off, realizing that his protesting had become rather useless. Damn, he was hungry. And dizzy. And shaky. And kind of angry. And hungry. He kicked Sebastian experimentally with his shoe. Kicked him harder. Again, with all the strength he could summon.

Not even a flinch.

So that is how Ciel, once Earl Phantomhive, went to grab some food from the fridge but found a bag of blood on the counter staring him in the face instead. His eyes sharpened at the sight of it and his fingers twitched even more. "Must... not..." he went to reach for something in a Tupperware container then grabbed the hospital bag of blood instead. "gulp..." he changed the sentence to, rather cleverly (if you asked him).

He ripped the plastic open with his teeth as they began to sharpen into tiny, shark like fangs, one after another. His breathing turned into pants as he struggled not to dump all of the viscous liquid down his throat in one gulp, but mostly because he couldn't figure out how to do so without wasting it on his shirt and the floor. Ciel moaned as the bag emptied far too quickly.

"What have we here?" a dark voice said from behind him, strong, slim arms trapping him against the kitchen sink without letting him see the intruder's face.

"Wh-who are you?" Ciel said, quivering in fear even as he licked out the bag. (Yeah, he's got the munchies, I know.)

The man breathed against his neck in a way that, under other circumstances might have been seductive, but in this case just made Ciel afraid that he was about to get raped. "Whoever you wish me to be."

_That's e-fucking-nough, _Ciel thought. "Sebastian, I order you to wake up and get your lazy ass in here right now!"

The body behind him jerked slightly and Ciel jumped at that, a weird feeling tingling through him. "Don't do that, idiot!" he screamed, ducking out of the arms quickly and with new motivation.

What he was faced with was Sebastian.

Well, no. As the narrator, I cannot accurately tell you that.

He wasn't faced with 'Sebastian Michaelis' – he was faced with the body of the man that had held the personality of Sebastian, his butler and etc. for the last however so long. Being unaware that Grell had stripped Sebastian of some vital memories, Ciel just noticed the bare basics about the demon in front of him – who of course he _thought _was Sebastian but you and I know is not. But for simplicity's sake I'll refer to him as Sebastian for now.

Ciel gasped and pointed, cheeks _flaming_ red. "Wh-what did you do to your uniform?"

Sebastian smirked and undid another button on his shirt. "I personalized it. You seem to like it though."

Sebastian looked very pointedly at a very private area on Ciel's body, as though he somehow could see through the flannel nightshirt he'd been put in, oh maybe 3 months ago.

Ciel, being Ciel, slapped Sebastian.

Now, before we go further, here's what happened when Sebastian woke up, to cause such an intense and admittedly interesting reaction from Ciel...

Sebastian woke up with his side hurting fairly badly, as though a demon had just kicked him several times at full force while he just _laid there_ like an idiot. He brushed it off as sleeping cramps, which he often got when he slept for centuries on end.

Which he must have done this time, to end up in such an unfamiliar environment with such... odd technologies. He stared at the TV, transfixed until he knew how it worked. It didn't take very long. _After all, _he thought quietly to himself, _I am merely one _hell _of a demon..._

He quickly got bored with that and noticed what he was wearing. Some type of tight fitting black pantsuit. Ugh. How he hated these constraining things. He quickly ran his thumb under the waistline and discovered, to his horror, that he was wearing _underwear._ He stripped, sighing in relief as he shed the tie and underpants altogether. He decided to keep the suit coat simply because it was sexy and a coat could always come in handy. Though the pockets _were_ full, strangely enough, of silverware, which was a new one. The white shirt was simple enough – he merely unbuttoned the top few so he didn't feel so strangled. Of course the gloves stayed, because he never went without gloves.

After that, his vanity was finally put to rest and he noticed the oddest sound of someone – sucking? Very close too, a room over.

Sebastian smiled, genuinely smiled. _Time to grant a wish..._ something deep inside him whispered, but he didn't know why so he brushed it off and headed in the direction of the noise.

Now, back to Ciel slapping Sebastian. By now, of course, Sebastian has felt his body want to respond to Ciel's order, seen Ciel's eye, and generally noticed that he's contracted to him.

The rude part of this is that even with all this brand new knowledge, Sebastian catches Ciel's hand before it hits his cheek. Instead of allowing his master to strike him, Sebastian forces Ciel's hand to caress his own cheek.

"What was your wish, master? Revenge? Fame? Fortune?" Sebastian leaned closer, wrapping Ciel's hand around his waist and planting it there firmly with the help of his other arm. Ciel's limbs are getting slacker as he grows less and less sure of himself, as Sebastian's face grows closer and closer. "Love?" Sebastian breathed just underneath Ciel's ear, feeling the boy tremble violently. "A night of passion?" He licked where he had breathed, tracing a letter into the skin that only he was aware enough to make out.

Ciel sighed breathlessly. Whatever the hell kinda dream this was... "My wish was to take revenge and have you eat my soul."

Sebastian blinked.

_Huh?_ the human sections of his soul thought. _Hell fucking YEAH! _the underfed demon portion thought.

"You – you _want _me to eat your soul?" Sebastian said, so surprised he forgot to sound sexy.

Ciel, completely convinced by now that this was a dream (all of his dreams ARE about his own death, each more creative than the last), said something vaguely along the lines of, 'Ngh, yes, Sebastian, take my soul.' while he started to maul his butler's neck.

Sebastian was taken entirely off guard and yet hit by the realization that something was very wrong even as he mentally relaxed and started making out with the random kid. Something just wasn't right about this. The kid was acting – acting way too hot and cold. It was somewhere in his wish, it had to be.

My wish was to take revenge and have you eat my soul – okay, he's suicidal and stubborn... My wish was to take revenge... nothing new... My wish _was_...!

Sebastian stopped cold, which is actually fairly impressive. Ciel looked at him, eyes wide with hope for too many things.

"The contract is complete." Sebastian said.

Ciel nodded, tears streaking down his face as he smiled. He looked so happy... why did that make Sebastian's chest hurt?

"So I kill you now. And take your soul?"

Ciel nodded again, and hugged Sebastian desperately. "Sebastian?"

It took him a second to realize that was him. "Yes, Master?"

"I just want it to be over. For both of us. Do it however you want. Just... Just do it."

Sebastian frowned. 'over for both of us?'

"One last thing, Sebastian?" Ciel looked up into Sebastian's face, and this time he didn't hesitate to respond.

"Yes, Master."

"Is this a dream?"

… _I hate it when this happens._

_An: See – I – I said it would make sense one day! I would like to say that none of this theology is anywhere in any of Kuroshitsuji or in any doujins that I've ever seen or read and that may be a bit of why it's so confusing... you know, just a _bit. _I took a time out recently to read Phobia by Neko-chan and it inspired me. * drools * It also pissed me off because IT ISN'T FINISHED! * waaaaah *_

_I would like to thank all those who alerted on this story. Ever. Yup. Here you guys are: **A Thousand** **Needles** (awesome name!), (OMIGOD YOU'RE MY PHILLIPINE READER!), **AngelOfTheNight7897** (I'm your first fav story * happy tears *), **CielSebbyLover555** (sees all your favs and knows what i'm doing for the next three days), **DiYunjae **(ahh! Mah Singapore reader!), **Eliza Middleton** (reviewed recently.. * give me a moment *), **Fireotaku18 **(my sister carries a lighter with her everywhere she goes :)), **HomicidalSomnabulism **(Aaah! You! I wuv you! +India reader mystery solved. I shall continue this wuv waiter..), (you have the best quotes on your profile), **I am Zoe Daughter of Atlas **(you write awesome rants), **IchiAi **(Aaah! You're British! * can't get past fact that you're British *)**, Kick-Aft **(been waiting to get to this one and can now only say... your name kick-afts! Yeah, well,! … no excuse...), **Othello's Adonis, **(O.o *** **oggles invisible muscles *), **Pi Eaterz **(I'm a pie eater! I've always been sorta afraid to try Pi tho), **Souyia **(you are from my country and I still don't know what your username means... cries...), **dragonfire04 **(I want some! I need it! For – uh, you know, sciency purposes...), **kenshingumi **(fellow Skip Beat! Person!), **pbub2 **(aaw, I want tacos, two!), **promocat** (is it less confusing? The last chapter did make sense! I swear it did, I went back and read all the other chapters up to it to make sure! And it makes much more sense when you add THIS chapter!), **risi **(I wuv you ½ asian person, and I wish you luck in your endeavor), **tei768 **(I... like Teen Titans? That has Robin in it!), **what-is-the-color-of-love** (okay, I have heard that before, but the way it is written there is sooo cool/cute!)._

_Okay, I just broke my patience. PleASe ReviEw! P.S. For those interested, I am doing a co-authored fanfic with my bff Threaded Needles called 'Seul' under X-men Evolution for Remy/Gambit x AnnMarie/Rogue. _


	8. Where Characters Are Confused And Not U

_**An: here's a refresher, it's been a while. Last we left off, Sebby lost all his memories and Ciel thought he was dreaming and basically begged Sebastian to take his soul while he made out with him... yeah... **_

After the 'dream', Ciel was so flustered at the long pause that he didn't know what to say when Sebastian finally answered with a mumbled 'I don't think so'. Instead he just jerked himself away, the only hope he'd had since he'd seen the demon sword that afternoon crushed.

"F-fuck you, Sebastian." he managed to get out, staring fixedly at the blank wall across from him. They had lived there for approximately twenty years and had never done anything to change the décor. Sebastian was out so much it was like he almost didn't care, and Ciel was out (mentally) so much he _really_ didn't care.

"Well, you were about to..." Sebastian murmured, as close as he could to sexily when he was this confused. He'd never lost his memories before. Obviously he had a past with this – this irritating little thing.

Ciel responded by growling. Real, proper growling like only a demon can do.

Sebastian blinked.

"Wait one _fucking minute_." he said, laughing as if this could not possibly be real. Which it couldn't be of course unless he had lost his utter fucking mind and contracted with a demon for _their soul_. "You are a **demon**?! And I'm contracted to you for your soul?!"

Ciel spun on his heel to face Sebastian, face bright red and eyes glazed with tears. "Why the fuck do you think I'm so pissed off! You didn't hold up your end of the bargain, you fucking worthless good for nothing sack of-"

"Well of course I didn't, that would be cannibalism. And I hate the way demon souls taste." Sebastian deadpanned, serious to the core.

Ciel stood there, so stunned he couldn't even respond to his own personal live in idiot. He had two trains of thought, one train basically ordering Sebastian to eat his soul then and there and the other to yell at him for something that didn't matter. Guess which one he chose. "B-but... you... you _tried to kill me when I changed!_"

Sebastian smirked. Oh, how he wished he remembered that. "Of course I must have. Can you imagine how much pent up frustration I took out in killing you when I knew you would return and order me around?... the only question is why I did not kill you when you wouldn't come back to life." Sebastian took a moment to seriously contemplate this.

Ciel fought the urge to start crying. What the fuck had happened to _his _Sebastian? He had made him have sex with Grell, so what, get some balls. (He shuddered at the accompanying visual, then once more at the fact that he'd _had_ _enough_ _knowledge_ of Sebastian's body to have an accurate accompanying visual.) "Sebastian, can you not remember any of the time you spent with me at all? Anything?"

Sebastian thought. He thought really, really hard. Not for the boy who was apparently his Master, but because he hated the fact that he didn't have perfect recall. He had always been able to remember everything.

Everything. Even as far back as to his beginning.

How did he begin again?

"Shit, I don't think I even know any other language than English." Sebastian said, dread building within him. He began pacing the penthouse kitchen at an unnatural pace. "I can't remember how I was born."

Ciel had a true, down to earth, 'what the fuck' moment at that. "Huh?..."

Sebastian glared at him. "Born as a demon, you -" his eyes opened wide. "I can't find the word in my mother language. I've forgotten it."

He sat down on the floor, and it was the first time, in all of Ciel's years with him (i.e. most of his life) that he had seen Sebastian look defeated or – any emotion at all besides slightly evil and all mischievous with a hint of depression, or irritated, or violent. And it had taken a hundred years to catch the depression. Or maybe it was boredom. Ciel could never decide.

Ciel said, softly, joining Sebastian on the floor and reluctantly relieving himself of his pride momentarily to comfort his – butler/servant/general companion/whatever. "Is it because I... allowed that _thing _to have you for a day?"

Even though Sebastian's face was blank, Ciel could not bring himself to say the name. He sighed deeply and prepared himself to continue.

Fine. He could take the blame, make an apology – just this once. Because – because Sebastian deserved it.

And because as soon as -

"What kind of thing?" Sebastian said, suddenly interrupting Ciel's personal space. This time, however, it wasn't in a 'I'm going to throw you down on the floor and have sex with you until you beg for mercy' kind of way. It was more in a 'tell me what the fuck you know before I fucking kill you, tiny man'.

"Grell, his name is Grell." Ciel said, suddenly intimidated. "He's a grim -"

Sebastian's eyes widened, and he did something that would guarantee he _never_ got an apology. He slapped Ciel. "You stupid, frivolous child! Of all the -" Sebastian cussed for what was a very long time, even by demon standards. Especially when you considered that he only had one language to curse in.

When he was done cussing, Ciel was yawning, a little bored and more than a little ready to be given a bath and tucked in. "I want to go to bed now, if you're finished." he stated, rather rudely under the circumstances.

"He could have driven me mad! Killed me! He took every_thing_ from me, _everything._" Sebastian said, and some hot feeling was behind his eyes that he didn't recognize.

Ciel frowned. Sebastian looked like – well, he almost looked like he was about to cry. Then he remembered being bitch slapped and was like, 'fuck you' again. "I recognize that I should have listened to you."

"Hell fucking-"

"However." Ciel added, holding up a hand imperiously. "You should not have gotten me so addicted on blood that I would go into immediate withdrawal without it every ten minutes or so. You also should not have acted so ungraciously toward the greatgranddaughter of my fiance. Whether my fiance is still living or not."

Sebastian stared at Ciel, mouth agape. He knew, he just _knew_ there were more holes in the logic of that argument than there were in a hooker's fishnet stockings, but he couldn't remember enough to find them and retort sufficiently. And Ciel knew that and was taking horrible advantage of it. Which only makes him a stronger chess piece to have on your board, if you ask me. In the matter of a day, he had moved from the rank of King to Queen again.

Since Sebastian cannot correctly really invalidate his master's argument, I will let you in on the major flaws:

1. Ciel was ordering Sebastian to bring him blood much sooner than every ten minutes, but Sebastian had to talk him down to ten minutes so he didn't bounce off the walls (quite literally) and destroy their apartment.

2. Lizzy brought the very real, and very ungracious side of Sebastian upon herself the moment she shot several acid laced paintballs into his master's throat.

3. Well, Ciel never really liked Lizzy much anyways, but Sebastian (and I) suppose he had a point there. And Lizzy did get eventually get married to someone else, besides. Sebastian attended the wedding and very nearly scared the life out of the presiding priest.

These are the main flaws in Ciel's argument. However, Ciel really wasn't thinking about his argument or whether or not it was flawed or paper thin. It was just an excuse to go to sleep and think about what really mattered. But wasn't there something he did before bed? Back then?

Ah, yes.

"Sebastian, draw a bath, I reek." he said imperiously. "You should have been taking better care of me. Also, prepare to cut my hair after wards. It's grown much too long."

Sebastian's eyebrow twitched with the infuriating nature of his situation, but something deep within just chuckled a little and told him that he would get used to it. In a decade or two. Besides, the last thing he wanted was to force the brat to order him and to carry out his life like an automaton, stiffly moving through his days without an end in sight.

With that cheerful thought, Sebastian went to draw a bath.

"At least the baths work mostly the same," he murmured, twisting the old fashioned handle. He stripped off the ridiculous suit coat as the humidity grew. Ciel had practically ripped the rest of the buttons off his nice white collar shirt when they were kissing, and he could hardly see the worth in continuing to wear the scrap of fabric. But something stopped him as he went to remove it. _What is it? _he wondered.

Then it hit him.

It was that scary, 'kiss me in real fucking life ever again and I'll fucking kill you, tiny man' look in Ciel's eyes the moment he understood he wasn't dreaming. It was partially endearing, but mostly chilling.

Ciel showed up in the bathroom door just as Sebastian shut the running water off and began to lay out towels. "What the hell is taking so long?" he demanded. "I'm exhausted, you idiot."

Sebastian glared, but otherwise continued onto his next task: grabbing the various bottles of body wash, bubble bath, shampoo and conditioner, Ciel's special girly lotion that he used because he had chronically dry skin, etc etc etc. All the usuals.

Finishing fairly quicker than a human would but rather slower than a demon should (he was being a bit pissy, and with fair cause), Sebastian finally turned to grin that slightly maniacal grin at Ciel. Bowing slightly, he asked,"How may I help you my...Master?"*

Ciel frowned slightly at Sebastian. If he didn't know better, he could have sworn he'd mumbled something just before he'd said 'Master'. "Give me a bath. Like I said. And it's 'my Lord', not that you'd remember."

"Of course..."** Sebastian said, smiling like a jackal. Almost literally, really.

"And stop smiling, it's positively disgusting. It makes me want to shove dirt down your throat." Ciel said as he stayed still so Sebastian could unbutton the nightshirt.

"My 'Lord', I do not see the point of taking off your pajamas just to put them back on." Nevertheless, Sebastian took them off. Duh. He is a slight perv, above all things.

Sebastian neatly folded the pajamas and placed them in the laundry hamper. Don't ask me why he was folding the dirty clothes. He's just a bit more than slightly OCD in that respect.

Ciel narrowed his eyes at Sebastian arguing with him... but still carrying out the demand. That just didn't make any sense. Sebastian didn't waste words.

Well, the old Sebastian didn't.

"Are you suggesting I put on day clothes after this?" Ciel said, lowering his body into the bath tub. His face went bright red as he desperately attempted not to scramble out of the practically _boiling_ water. What the _hell_? "That would be ridiculous, it's the middle of the night!"

Sebastian fought the urge to giggle. Yes, it was childish. But hearing Ciel shriek – uh huh, shriek – the last half of his retort was more than worth the childishness.

Ciel inspected the sudden absolute blank expression on his butler's face. Either he was hiding something – like laughter – or he found this _funny_.

There was only one appropriate response to this, of course. Ciel fought his own urge to smirk as Sebastian began to pour bubble bath in. Wait for the right moment, he told himself. Revenge must be perfect and absolute.

As the irritating demon leaned in again to reach a rag on the other side of the tub, Ciel defeated him. Sebastian, reaching over the rather ridiculously huge tub, was stretched perilously over the steaming water, clutching the side nearest to him with his other hand for balance that would soon be lost. Just as Sebastian's fingers brushed the rag, Ciel – who had drawn his knees to his chest in preparation – slammed both of his feet down into the middle of Sebastian's back, successfully dunking him in the water at possibly the most awkward angle in history. There was a snap-crackle-pop noise and Sebastian's head did not resurface immediately, leaving Ciel to wonder if he had used just a bit too much force. He wasn't human anymore, after all.

"Eh, Sebastian?" he said, a tad nervously.

Sebastian's head resurfaced between Ciel's knees, looking severely pissed. "You snapped my spine and fractured my skull and more importantly, _you ruined my clothes._"

Ciel rolled his eyes, relieved more than he would ever reveal. "At least you didn't bleed everywhere this time."

Sebastian's eyebrow began to do that subtle twitching thing again that made Ciel smile. _His_ Sebastian would never dare lose control over something as insignificant as an eyebrow, but this Sebastian was becoming more amusing by the instant.

It almost made him regret what was going to happen in the morning.

_**An: First off, the stars:**_

_***What Sebastian was truly saying during the '…', the first... 'How may I help you, my fucking idiotic I never want to speak to you again – Master?"**_

_****What Sebastian was truly saying during the '…', the second... 'Of course I'll rip your spine out and feed it to my cats!'**_

_**Secondly, sorry I haven't posted in a while, this chapter came like pulling teeth for some reason. But last night there were three new pages in Obsessia so I was suddenly inspired. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!**_


	9. Deja Vu

_**An: warning, something really bad just happened in my personal life so this may come out... really mean... to the characters... EDIT, when I finished: okay, it wasn't TOO bad... err... Also, last we left off: Sebby tucked Ciel into bed after Ciel like, broke him in half just 'cause he could and it was hilarious and it seemed to make sense at the time.**_

Chapter NINE

After Ciel was tucked into bed, he found for the first time since he had become a demon that he couldn't sleep. Maybe it was because he could practically _feel _the waves of absolute fury from the other room. But he knew it was more because the fog that had covered his eyes for so long was no longer there. He could no longer stare into the air, a lifeless mannequin.

He had decisions to make.

Here it was – the way out he'd been searching for all this time. Sebastian could have taken his soul all this time. But... but he _hadn't_? What the hell kind of joke was that? Did he _enjoy_ being ordered around? He sure as fuck didn't act like it.

Ciel flipped onto his back restlessly and stared at the blank white ceiling, searching for patterns in the plain paint that would answer all of his questions. And then there was Liz – the spitting image of Elizabeth. She wanted to kill him, but she also knew more than she was letting on. It sounded like she was out to ruin Sebastian's life or something. Mostly because she had said that she was out to ruin Sebastian's life.

What could it be that she knew? What secret that would destroy his invincible butler?

Ciel glanced through his doorway – well, Sebastian's doorway, actually. There was only one bedroom on the top floor and Sebastian didn't sleep (the one time Ciel had asked, Sebastian had muttered some really poetic quote about nightmares and peace of mind and then ghosted off). Anyways, he glanced through the door-less doorway and wondered what the hell was going through his demon's head (yes, his demon. Sort of like your pet cat or something).

He could always just call him in here and ask him straight out, but it's not as if Sebastian would remember to tell him. Sebastian couldn't remember his own last name, much less a secret of epic proportions like the one Liz must be holding onto.

Ciel frowned as _he_ remembered something. What Sebastian had said just before he had sent him off with... that _thing_, back when this entire thing had started. He had said... he had said those three words. Those three words, the most horrible ones Ciel could ever hear, the most threatening ones anyone could ever say to him. And that's including 'I'll kill you', 'I am Alois', etc.

Sebastian was suddenly in the doorway. "You're kidding me, right?"

Ciel half shrieked at his sudden appearance, not to mention what he'd said. "What the FU-"

Sebastian laughed, throwing his head back. He'd lost the shirt back in the living room after he'd put Ciel to bed and stolen a pair of baggy plaid pajama pants at the speed of a demon (which is much faster than the speed of light or sound or thought or even Stephenie Meyer's vampires, for your information) so he was looking rather... odd. I mean, can _you_ picture Sebastian in baggy plaid pajama pants?

"Have you lost all sense of style with your memories?" Ciel criticized.

Sebastian shrugged. "They're comfortable. And that's not the point. I've completely – and conveniently, I may add, you can only blame yourself – forgotten how to shield my mind from the person I'm contracted to. And that means if you're thinking strongly enough about something..."

"You'll pick up on it?" Ciel said, filled with sudden and absolute horror.

"Well, not the specifics unless I'm really trying but still," Sebastian said, beginning to chuckle again. "You're-" he broke down again in sudden fits of... well, it's _Sebastian, _so I can't very well say he giggled. But the most manly equivalent of a giggle.

"Spit it out or go back to your seething!" Ciel yelled, flustered with humiliation.

Sebastian cleared his throat. "You're afraid of someone you love saying 'I love you' back? What kind of twisted logic is that-"

Ciel, face bright red, screamed, "I order you to go swim the English channel 75 times! ROUND TRIP!"

Sebastian's grin only grew wider. "We're in New York City."

Ciel blushed harder, if that was possible. "Then I suppose you'll have quite a ways to swim, then."

Sebastian disappeared.

Ciel sighed, falling back on the bed from where he had propped himself up on his elbow to shriek – err, scold – his servant. That should take him, at the very least, half an hour.

Yes. He supposed it was true when you put it like that – he was afraid of someone he 'loved' 'loving' him in return. The way that Sebastian had phrased it was misleading though. Just because he had had _sex_ with him once, it didn't mean that he loved him like _that_... or at all...

Ciel threw his face into his pillow and hid it there, desperately trying to hide from his own thoughts, hoping that all the way from the English channel that Sebastian couldn't hear what he was thinking. Yes, so, he had had the occasional (not so occasional) fantasy about Sebastian. And the man/demon had practically raised him. That just made the entire thing more disturbing.

Not to mention that they were men.

Ciel shuddered at the memories that accompanied that. Not just the memories of Sebastian – oh how he wished he had only those pleasant of memories – but of other men, men who...

"Hey." Said a familiar voice, "Calm down."

Ciel glanced up with slightly panicked eyes as the memories continued to flood his mind. Sebastian was standing there, somehow completely dry (the wind from running super fast blow dried him) and as big a pain in the ass as he had left.

Ciel's eyes narrowed as a new thought occurred to him. If he had lost all his memories somehow, did that mean?... "Sebastian, can you lie to me?"

Sebastian frowned, really thinking this trick question through. Why, sure he could lie to the little bitch. Why couldn't he? "Sure, I can-" Sebastian started to taste blood as his organs liquified, healed just as quickly, then started liquefying again at disobeying a forgotten order. Shit. "not. I cannot, apparently."

Ciel smiled. Best news all day. "I don't feel tired."

Sebastian fought the urge to roll his eyes, wondering where he had picked up such a crass habit in the first place. No matter. "I don't know why, but I have this vague feeling that you shouldn't be."

Ciel laughed, and the brilliant wine-red that had finally been fading from his eyes over the past day flashed back with a moment of sheer, intense joy. "No, no I really shouldn't be."

As the night faded to morning, Ciel just stared. They'd moved out into the living room under the pretense of watching TV, but that wasn't really what Ciel was watching.

And it was creeping the _hell_ out of Sebastian (excuse the pun, please). The creepy little kid had just been _staring _and _staring_ and _**staring**_at him for hours. **Hours.** He hadn't even blinked. And Sebastian knew that Ciel hadn't just happened to pick that spot in the room to stare at that he just happened to be occupying, no, Ciel was actually staring at Sebastian himself. And he knew that because he had tried moving around suddenly, blowing on Ciel's eyeballs, and even going to the bathroom and loudly declaring that he was about to pee and could he have some privacy _puh-lease._

Ciel kept staring. (Above the waist, of course. Not that it really mattered, Sebastian didn't have to pee. He wasn't one for consuming human food, if only for the disgusting task of excreting the after products.)

Finally, Ciel stopped. He stretched, though there really was no need to. He didn't get sore or uncomfortable from staying in the same position for hours anymore. Just vaguely unsettled by his ability to do so. There was probably some scientific reason behind it, but he didn't care to find it.

"Sebastian." he said, thoughtfully. Did he really want to go through with this? This morbid plan of his, this maudlin idea that had been swirling through his brain since the death of his parents so many years ago?

"Ye-es?" Sebastian said, dragging his eyes away from the TV. He'd been catching up on all the new technology he wasn't aware of, thanks to the home network shopping channels. There was really some incredible new silver and cooking ware out there that he felt inexplicably drawn to.

"That's 'yes, my lord' to you." Ciel said, with a flicker of irritation in his voice. Really, all this time being forced to listen to Sebastian bite his tongue to keep from saying those words and now he couldn't even remember that they were supposed to leave his mouth.

"Yes, my most _gracious_ lord, the _only_ reason for my _existence..."_ Sebastian paused dramatically. "How may I help you, and in doing so fulfill my only purpose in life?"

Ciel sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought when he was dealing with a freaking _teenage girl._ "I have never, in all my years, met someone so..."

"Sexy?" Sebastian quipped. "Lovable? Undeniable?"

"I was going more towards obnoxious, but I suppose in this case narcissistic would be far more appropriate." Ciel responded dryly. "But that's not the point."

"Then what is – 'my lord'. You've been staring at me since you got out of bed. That was around, oh 10 hours ago. Aren't your eyeballs getting dry?"

"I snuck in the occasional blink, you were just too busy drooling over various sets of cutlery to notice." Ciel sniped back. "_Anyways._"

The door to the apartment burst open, and Liz strutted in, reusable shopping bags that looked like they had been reused quite a lot weighing down each of her arms. "HONEY, I'M HO-OME!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Oh, for God's sake, Sebastian, will you just eat my fucking soul already!" Ciel snapped.

_**AN: geez, just sorta painted myself into a corner there, didn't I? D: or did I? o.O No, I'm pretty sure I did. I apologize for how long it took me to update, like I said something happened in my personal life and this chapter came out by sentences. Or a sentence. I just couldn't write. Can't hardly write. I'll understand if you don't review. :') Thank you, everyone, for all your support, and I will try my hardest to get the next one up faster. Before Christmas, at the very least. At least you can't complain I was trying to kill Sebby in this one. :D What can I say, I'm a homicidal kinda gal. **_


	10. Depraved Sex Toys!

Liz sighed, rather dramatically, and dropped her shopping bags with a veritable _clunk_. "I seem to have come at a bad time, would you like me to return later?"

"Oh, for shit's sake yes." Ciel said point blank, already ushering her out the door.

"Too bad!" Liz took advantage of Ciel's closeness to press her lips to his in an unnecessarily (and just plain unnecessary) sloppy kiss.

Ciel resisted the urge to bleach his mouth (which he was now physically able to do without months of hospital recovery time and a severely damaged taste bud system) and instead settled for darting over to Sebastian and began rubbing his mouth furiously all over the side of Sebastian's arm.

Sebastian was too busy registering his disgust at what was happening and had already happened (eeeeew, girl cooties!) to try and shake Ciel off his arm.

"See, Ciel, that's exactly what you were missing by not kissing Lizzy every day of your... 'happily' married life." Liz grinned, and started digging through her shopping bags for God knows what next torture. A genuine reproduction of the meals Lizzy would have cooked?

"Please, please... no more!" Ciel said, still gagging a little on his own (and a little of Liz's) spit.

Liz looked up at him, a bit confused. "Huh? Oh, nothing more about Lizzy today. We-eell, that is, nothing but the bare basics. We need to talk about some things. I can't technically ruin Sebastian's life anymore because he really doesn't have one – see, he was _stupid_ enough to forget it" - insert evil look at Sebastian, which is responded to with the expression translation of complete and utter speechlessness - "so now I just have to get his memories back and _then_ destroy his life."

"But he was about to eat my _soul_!" Ciel wailed. He wasn't usually this whiny, he knew, somewhere deep inside. But... he was tired. So, so _tired_. And he _hurt_. He hurt like something was eating him from the inside, ripping him to shreds over and over as fast as he could heal for them to eat him again. He didn't taste _that_ fucking good, did he?

Liz frowned, a little taken aback. She had been so busy scheming that she hadn't noticed Ciel's demand of Sebastian when she entered. "Well, too bad. He can eat it _after_ he remembers everything. It won't hurt him at all if he eats you and he isn't in love with you."

Ciel blanked.

Then he exploded, as he tended to do when faced with something true that he: A. was simply not prepared emotionally/physically to deal with or B. did not like.

Of course, if this had been a literal explosion, the story might have ended here, or even become far more interesting as Liz and Sebastian were left to figure out what the hell to do with themselves as they stayed in the living room of a long-ago condemned building's penthouse, covered in bits of flesh and bone and the occasional strand of hair that had once constituted Ciel Phantomhive.

However, despite that rather graphic description featured above, Ciel only exploded figuratively. "He doesn't love me! I'd know if he did, because he's such a perverted sex monster that he couldn't possibly dress me and undress me and give me baths without trying to rape me at _least_ every other time, not to mention that time I was high and he just -"

Ciel cut himself short.

Liz wiggled her eyebrows. "Oooh, so even the great Earl Phantomhive has his vices."

"I am _not_ a depraved drug add-"

Liz hushed Ciel, waving a finger in front of his lips threateningly. How, it was threatening, when he could bite it off with enough force to break his own jaw at the same time, he could not understand. But it was. "I believe we've heard enough out of _you_."

Sebastian coughed slightly. "For the record, I'm not a perverted sex monster."

_That you remember._ Ciel thought, rolling his eyes in Sebastian's general direction as he thought it as **loudly as he could**.

_**Yeah, well, YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!**_ a voice screamed in Ciel's head so loudly he thought it was God for a moment.

The smirk on Sebastian's face was just begging for corporal punishment.

But before Ciel could go slap Sebby (even at demon speed, yes) Liz was dumping things out of her bag and everyone in the room was entranced, even the person that nobody knew was there. (Shh.)

It looked like... like Liz was dumping out the makings of a romantic picnic onto the floor. Tall scented candles, matches, a red silk cloth, _lube_, edible – edible _panties_, and... the items just kept going, from depraved sexual toys to romantic.

"Uh, Liz, not that I don't like you and everything but-" Ciel said in a slightly strangled voice.

Liz snorted. "You're kidding me, right?" She hocked a ring box at Sebastian, who caught it with a slightly amused expression on his face. He opened it, and a slight 'wow' expression spread across his face. She snorted again. "And _that_ ring there is kidding you. It's costume jewelry. Still cost me a pretty piece of credit though. Good thing it's returnable..."

Liz swept all the items aside and considered the chains bolted into the floor that she herself had been chained to just recently. "Those could come in handy, in theory, but... I somehow doubt it. Hey, Sebastian, could old rusty chains hold that grim reaper that mind fucked you?"

Sebastian, who had figured out what Liz was doing a while ago, shook his head. Liz sighed. She glanced up at Ciel's baffled face and sighed again. "Okay, so here's what we're gonna do. It's rather simple when you think about it. We're going to use the power of Sebastian's true name to summon Grell here, and we'll hold him with a magical circle made out of demon and death god repelling shit. Usually not much repels a death god, but there are... ways."

"Wait." said Ciel, who was getting a headache for the first time in what felt like forever. He was, well was supposedly, smarter than her. How was he not understanding this? "How is invoking Sebastian's true name going to bring Grell?"

Liz sighed. Again again. "Grell consumed quite a bit of Sebastian's Cinematic Record. A Cinematic Record is not just your memories, it's tied up very closely with your soul. So when Grell got Sebastian's Cinematic Record, he also got a lot of his soul as well. Sebastian probably has less of a soul than he did even before." Liz flashed a smile at Sebastian, as if to say, 'no offense'. "I know it might be difficult to grasp the concept of demons having souls, but most demons began as humans. The demons who didn't don't even have the need to consume souls, really, it's more like a hobby."

Ciel gripped his forehead. Ow...

"A demon, for whatever reason, with their demon powers and shit inherit a really long and complicated and unusually hard to pronounce name. Since you inherit supernatural forces of darkness or whatever, you should also inherit a couple of weaknesses, I suppose. Like the fact that you get a name that, if anyone discovers it, can yank you around for eternity."

"Wait. Wait, wait, wait." Ciel said, grasping the pulse in his temples. Was he seriously getting a migraine? "Why don't I know mine?"

"It probably comes when you actually start eating souls and acting like an actual demon instead of sitting around in your jammies all day with ridiculously long hair watching TV." Liz contemplated.

Ciel opened his mouth to argue, but no good retort came to mind, so he shut his cake hole.

Somewhere behind him, Sebastian snickered.

"So, how are we gonna do this?" Ciel said, trying to ignore the growing paranoia that someone was in the room. Well, lots of people were in the room. Just, someone that – oh, you know what his paranoia is referring to.

Liz grinned. "That's the fun part. We make it look like Sebastian enjoyed being raped the first time so much that he set up a sex picnic for Grell..." She whipped up the huge red cloth. "While under this red cloth is a magic circle, much like a force field in those super old Star Wars movies, that won't even let oxygen get through."

Ciel blinked. Impressive. "I think the force fields in Star Wars let oxygen through. Sometimes."

Liz frowned at him. "I'm not going to argue about fictional physics with you when I have such a fucking brilliant plan. Now, lets set to drawing the black magic and holy symbols on the floor."

"Holy symbols?" Ciel questioned.

"Duh." Liz said, grabbing plain white chalk off the floor from where it had been dumped with the other, less innocent items. "We need black magic to call him, but holy symbols to trap him. Not all of life is as white and black as your church and Queen would have you believe."

Ciel grimaced, the image of his parents, 'together' for eternity flashing through his head as he answered. "If there is one thing I know, it is that the Queen is often far closer to black than the white the church would have us believe."

_**AN: Hola~ yes, this did take me forever to put out, I do realize that. But I think I may be able to wrap it up in one or two more chapters and finally work on something else. I put out a one shot Vampire Knight that was sort of stupid... * rolls eyes at self * but I was bored and trying to write **_**something****_ at least. And that was when the ideas for this chapter clicked in my head._**

_**I got permission from the wonderful ~yaoichia of deviantart to use her art for my cover photo of this story. I am so honored to have such a wonderful artist allow me to use her work.**_


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